Dark Fire sale

I recently wrote to guitarist magazine ranting about the newly released Dark Fire guitar from the Gibson guitar company, which was reviewed in March 2009 issue. I thought it was worth repeating here in case the editors deem my angry ramblings as unsuitable for print. History in this case will not here my comments on this guitar, and I think history will be the worse for it, so here it is.

Good lord, what a hideous contrivance Gibson has seen fit to let loose on the guitar world. The most powerful guitar ever, you posed? Well that may be...it may boast many features, such as robotic tuning, piezo pickups and pickup switching system that sounds as user-friendly as barbed wire, but does anybody out there want all this on a single guitar? I'm no technophile, so the silicon chips aren't my main gripe with this guitar.  I know, I know, looks are all in the eye of the beholder, but Gibson should hold their heads in shame, as the Dark Fire is hideous. Fine, you have the heritage of a core brand like the Les Paul, so you keep that classic shape, but to then meld, what looks like a chinese lacquer cabinet with bits of fake carbon fibre, and possibly the worst fret inlays I've seen in my life, the question I pose to you Gibson is, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? If you want it to be cutting-edge and futuristic, look toward Yamaha (like the ABX A2M Bass in the same issue) and Parker, or even Apple for design cues. I guarantee that in the guitar encyclopedia's of the future, this will be listed as another of Gibson's failed attempts to fuse vintage and modern. Stick all the gadgets in a Les Paul Standard if that's what you want, rather than trying so hard to be modern, because what you end up with is something that fails on both fronts and appeals to neither buyer.

If the future is reading this, I was right wasn't I, nobody wanted the bloody thing...